My Daily Deus Ex Machina

Reunion

2011-08-15T09:11:00.011-05:00

I missed my boys way more than I expected while I was gone, and I think the same goes for Josiah.

While in Italy, my parents were giving me constant updates as to the boys overall physical and emotional health. Caleb was enrolled in a day camp for four days with his cousin Gavin, which was a huge success. He was having way too much fun to miss his mommy too much.

But Sam had a more difficult time. My mom came up with the brilliant idea of placing 11 paper bags on top of her piano, each one filled with a little gift for the boys, counting down the days until I returned. On the last day, there was a bright red bag to indicate my homecoming. Apparently, Sam was continually asking for the "red bag, mommy home!" before the appointed time. Then my mom would have to go through the whole explanation again of how the system worked and when I would return. Sam was also constantly taking attendance during my absence. Sam: "Ahma here (that's my mom), Bompa here (that's my dad), Bay-bub here (that would be Caleb), mommy no here, daddy no here." Every time someone left the house he would have to take attendance again.

When my plane landed, Caleb was busy at camp. I knew that my mom or dad would be there to pick me up, but wasn't sure about Sam since it was pretty close to his nap time, and figured he might be at home with one of the adults. I realized after I started going through customs how much I was hoping that he would meet me at the airport...I really wanted to see my boys!

Sam was there, with both my parents. When he saw me from a distance of about 50 feet, he got an intensely concentrated look on his face and started running as fast as his little legs would take him, fists pumping. Without a word, he ran straight into my arms and latched on tight, which brought me to tears, and felt a lot like Heaven.

Day 8

2011-08-14T10:44:00.000-05:00

Day 8: I decide to spend my final day in Parma, which is 15 min. from Reggio Emila by train. If you hadn't guessed it already, this is where Parmesan orignated. I spend part of the morning in their national gallery, getting my museum-fix where I get to see lots and lots of paintings of the Madonna and child by Corregio, and a teeny tiny painting of a woman by Leonard Da Vinci. I step outside to find a huge street market in session, which I peruse. I wander the town and check out another duomo. I indulge in a guilty-pleasure for lunch--sliced keebab, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, and fries(!) all wrapped in a pita. "Istanbul Keebab" restaurant also serves Italian-style pizza, and is run by Asians. A mouth-watering multi-cultural experince!

I walk through the giant city park, which just happens to have a palace in the middle of it.

Oh, Italy, I will miss you!

Ciao! I have to stop blogging in order to have one more Italian meal with my hubby...

Day 7

2011-08-13T10:41:00.001-05:00

Recovering in Reggio Emilia. I read. I eat. I get lost on a bike ride. Says Josiah cheerfully, "What a fun
adventure!" Says I, "Yes, because I found my way home! If that nice lady hadn't been willing to show me where to go by leading me on her bike for a mile until I returned to town, I would be crying on the side of the road somewhere!"
Thank goodness for nice Italian ladies.

Day 6

2011-08-12T10:12:00.002-05:00

Day 6: Bologna is a 45 minute train ride from Reggio Emilia. It takes 30 minutes to walk from our apartment to the train station. Between the walk to and from the train station and around Bologna, I think I walk about 8 miles this day. Between this day of walking and the butt-crunching hike we did over the weekend, my legs are really beginning to ache. Although I am in pain, I am happy, because this means that surely I can continue my daily consumption of gelato without guilt.
In Bologna, I get a little frustrated, as it is Monday, and I had forgotten how many museums and shops are closed on this day. I keep walking around, looking for such and such a sight, only to find that it is--closed. I do manage to explore three churches (one of which is the fifth largest Basilica in the world), a medieval quarter filled with mouth-watering food shops, numerous sculptures, an ancient library, and...well, more. the funny thing about Europe, and part of why I love it so much, is that you can be searching for item A which is listed in your guide-book as a must-see, perhaps fail to find it, but stumble upon item B, which is not in the guide book, such as this:

Or perhaps this:

Or maybe this:

Europe is full of history and amazing architecture every where you look!

Day 3-5

2011-08-11T09:45:00.002-05:00

It's hot. REALLY hot. Josiah and I had planned to go to Bologna for the weekend, but we quickly scrap that plan and decide to head to Vernazza in Cinque Terre, a beautiful little city on the beach we visited together 9 years ago. When we roll into town after our 3 and a half hour train ride, we drop off our luggage and head straight to the beach. We end up at an amazing restaurant, which turns out to be the same one we ate at 9 years ago, and even have the same meal...which we don't realize until the end. Fresh bread, local wine by the carafe, ravioli stuffed with spinach and ricotta in a white walnut sauce...oh the food we ate! Italy is worth a trip for the food alone. We also get our fill of gelatto and fresh foccacia bread during this trip...these are things I will dearly miss when I return home. (guess I'll have to learn how to make foccacia)

Since 2004, Cinque Terre has aquired national park status, and you must purchase a ticket to hike from town to town. We decide to hike from Vernazza to Monterrosso, which looks like a pretty easy hour and a half hike on the map, but turns out to be quite strenuous, with it's steep stone stairways up and down the mountain. We truly enjoy every minute of our new butt-crunching workout, however, due to the beautiful countryside and views of the towns and ocean.

We spend the rest of the time laying on the beach, swimming, eating, and then--surprise! It turns out that the town is having a special festival, which we find out when a parade starts making it down the one, cobbled, tiny street through town. There is some sort of religious aspect to it, and all the children are dressed in little white outfits with black collars and red bows, and they proceed back up the street where they meet a priest in front of a picture of Mary and say some sort of prayer.

Later that evening we are treated to an hour and a half long performance of Vivaldi by an amateur brass band. Watching the locals during the performance proves to be just as entertaining as the performance itself. One man with a bushy mustache watches the entire concert through his phone while grinning ecstatically. we can only guess which teenager in the band belongs to him and how embarrassed they will be by this recording for years to come. There are also a band of young children who run around the town, apparently unsupervised. We decide they must be in charge. Of everything. They play tag during the performance, disrupting the elderly and knocking over tourists. Since they town is so small we start giving nicknames to the people we see repeatedly. Oh, there's speedo-man. Comb-over guy. Neck-beard. Maybe that's not very nice. But then again, who wears a speedo all day with only tennis-shoes? That's definitely going to garner some attention.

By the time the concert is over, the entire town has assembled on the piazza next to the beach in anticipation of the fireworks show. This is no small-town fireworks show...all day men have been unloading giant canons onto the jetti that is next to the beach. The fireworks show is astounding close--which means that it is LOUD, BIG, and kind of SCARY. Occassionally the fireworks don't go up, but out, and explode in the water, at which point everyone stands up and gasps and we can't help but wonder, "was that supposed to happen?" and, "hmmm...what if they accidently point that at the piazza?"

Returning to Vernazza was truly the best possible way for us to celebrate our 10 years of marriage together. When we first came to Vernazza, we were young, had been married only a year, and at the very beginning of our journey. Now, after ten years together, we were able to reflect on how life has changed since then, how many wonderful memories we've created, and how we are looking forward to another ten years together. Who knows, maybe we'll return again for our 20th anniversary?

Italy!

2011-08-10T09:43:00.001-05:00

It's late afternoon the day before I leave Italy for Seattle and I find myself with a charged computer, a cold diet coke, and
some free time while Josiah is in rehearsal--seems like the perfect opportunity to do a little journaling about my time here
in Italy, since when I get back I know I will have to hit the ground running and return to my parental role full-time.
So here goes...

Day 1 and 2: Reggio Emilia, where Josiah is attending his theatre classes, is a "small" town of about 180,000. It's right
in the thick of things, and you can easily get to Parma, Bologna, Pisa, Florence, Venice, and more in 3 hours or less.
The first couple days I stick to Reggio Emilia. I'm still recovering from Jet Leg, as well as trying to adjust to the fact
that I have hours to myself while Josiah is in class. There is no one to interrupt my thoughts, no one who is dependent on
me to have their needs met, no one who needs to be fed. There is just...ME! I do not remember the last time I have had an
entire day to myself. It takes me a few hours to wrap my head around this new state of being and stop feeling guilty for
beginning to enjoy this time away from my doting children, but after I let go of the mommy-guilt I find this new-found
independence to be GLORIOUS! (cue angels singing)

I drink Cappuccinos in cafes and read books. I peruse bakeries, grocery stores, and shops at my leisure. I play paparazzi
during Josiah's outdoor rehearsal in the park and get the following pictures:

Each evening, one half of Josiah's class does a performance for the other half of the class, which I am allowed to attend.
It's so fun to see what they are doing, albeit a little confusing. The 30 students in the class are from all over the world,
and during the performance, Spanish, French, Italian, Russian, and English are spoken. Thankfully for everyone, Commedia is
an extremely physical style of comedy, which translates well between cultures. Because guess what? Jokes about passing gas,
falling on your face, sexual humor, and mistaken identities are apparently funny all over the world!

I won't go in to a description of Commedia too much, but in order to understand the pictures, there are a couple things you
should know. In commedia, the actors play different characters which have been honed over hundreds of years. In order to
indicate these characters, many of the actors wear masks and walk and talk in a very specific, stylized manner. All of the
zanni, or servants, also carry a "slapstick" (yes, this is where the term "slapstick comedy" comes from) which is used to
make a loud slapping noise when they want to "hit" another person--which happens quite often in Commedia.

On the second evening, Antonio Fava (the teacher) and his theatre troupe have a special community performance of a Commedia
Del'arte play. Even though I don't speak a lick of Italian, I am able to understand much of the play, and enjoy the
experience thoroughly.

Superhero Sighting!

2011-05-29T19:07:00.003-05:00

Various superheroes have been sighted throughout the Wallace house! The picture above shows an unnamed mystery superhero doing a superstunt.

Some of the more well-known and popular superheroes also made an appearance, such as Iron Man...

Batman...

And Batman's trusty sidekick, mini-Batman? We're still trying to figure that one out. And we're also trying to figure out how in the world our child knows so much about superheroes since he's never seen a superhero movie in his life! Whatever the case, we are feeling so much safer in our house these days!

Easter, Part 2

2011-04-25T20:11:00.000-05:00

We spent our Easter Day with some good friends. After lunch, the fathers from our group hid Easter eggs. One egg proved to be especially difficult to procure. The kids made many attempts to knock the egg out of the tree...Caleb finally succeeded after many attempts.

Happy Easter!

Easter! Part 1...

2011-04-24T20:52:00.000-05:00

Baby bird graduation! The baby birds living in the birdhouse outside our back door finally flew the coop today. Congrats baby birds!

Caleb and Sam looking their handsomest for Easter Sunday. Sam wore the tie for a whole 5 minutes.

Sam really is trying to make an effort and smile for the camera these days! Or maybe it was the M&M's I was bribing the boys with?

Attempts at funny faces.

More pics to come of friends who spent the day with us. We had a lovely day!

Kidz Expo!

2011-03-30T20:13:00.000-05:00

At the Kid"z" Expo on Saturday the boys got to:

Jump in bouncy houses
eat free candy!
sit in the front seat of a fire truck
sit on a tractor and pretend to drive
sit in a police car AND press turn on the sirens (which Sam was afraid of)
get free coupons for Chick-fil-a!

We went with our friend Melinda and her two girls Alexa and Charissa. Melinda and I have been having fun hanging out on Saturdays when our husbands are working. (Her husband is getting a PhD in philosophy from Baylor). Fun times!

Fearful

2011-03-28T20:03:00.001-05:00

Sam has grown extremely fearful of late. Here is a list of a few of the things he is scared of:

Ropes (they look like snakes)
Snakes
Bugs
Little bits of paper that might look like bugs
Plastic dinosaurs
Real dinosaurs
People in costumes
Animals that have died and then been preserved and stuffed
Dragons (real and unreal)

The dinosaur (?) below has proven to be one of Sam's most feared enemies; he panics and will not play near the afore mentioned fiend!

Scary.

Scarier!

SCARIEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Long Haul

2011-03-27T22:16:00.004-05:00

"Today was a difficult day.
Tomorrow will be better.'
-Mr. Slinger"
— Kevin Henkes Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse

Well there it is. I think it finally hit us. We have been staving it off for as long as possible but it is official: We REALLY miss Josiah!
Especially me.
We are in the throes of one of the most difficult stretches (that we can foresee) of Josiah's graduate school years. He has been "gone" now for four weeks, and there are three more to go. Josiah leaves for school at 7:30am, rehearses his Shakespeare scene (a three week rehearsal process) from 5-7pm or 10-midnight, and is assistant directing The Odyssey from 7-10pm (6 nights per week for 7 weeks). He barely has time enough on the weekends to squeeze in any remaining homework. This weekend he will literally be gone at a playwriting festival for four days. All of this is required of him as part of his studies, none of it is optional.
And so we are passing in the night, and missing our husband and daddy.
Sundays are the hardest, as I am used to Josiah taking a break from the homework and rehearsals and spending time with us, but that has not been possible of late.
We are getting by, but I am not always the mom I wish that I could be. And so I am mulling over the wise words of Mr. Slinger (above) and praying for more patience, gratitude, and joy tomorrow.
Today was a difficult day, but tomorrow will be better.

Iphone

2011-03-20T20:12:00.002-05:00

My kids loooove the iphone. Well, they love the iphone apps and games.

Does anyone else think this is crazy?! What a different childhood my children will have from my own...

Too Cool

2011-03-18T20:04:00.000-05:00

Sam has taken to wearing sunglasses. He loves wearing them anytime, anywhere. We strolled through the grocery store the other day, and he wore them the entire time, mouth covered in chocolate cookie crumbs, straight face. Everyone kept telling him he was a "cool guy". He especially looks cool wearing them while doing cool stunts, such as the ones below. Watch out ladies!

It's hard to fill the void...

2011-03-16T19:48:00.000-05:00

...when Ahma and Bompa leave. They make such fabulous bed-time story readers, playmates, and adventurers. We miss you Ahma and Bompa!

Sam Turns Two!

2011-03-14T19:47:00.001-05:00

Sam truly looks like an old soul in this picture. "(sigh) Another birthday, another year gone by. What is there to look forward to after two???"

But in reality, he was a very happy camper and enjoyed his second birthday very much, especially since he got to spend it with his beloved "Ahma" and "Bompa"! (official titles)

Happy Birthday, dear Sam! You are officially out of the baby stage and are now a toddler!

We love you!

Weekend

2011-01-30T21:18:00.001-06:00

This is how Sam spent most of the weekend. I finally got him to open his mouth wide enough that I could see inside, and sure enough, there are two bottom molars peeking through the skin. He has been miserable and doesn't want to eat, sleep, or play. He spent from 6am until 11am on Josiah's or my lap. Oh please, give us all some relief soon! Tylenol can only do so much.

Fiestaware

2011-01-29T13:44:00.002-06:00

My grandmother Marilyn and her husband Verl recently moved from a full-size house to an apartment, and both decided it was time to scale back by giving away some of their belongings. Marilyn wrote a detailed list to both her children and grandchildren asking us what items we would like. I casually mentioned that I would like some of Marilyn's Fiestaware pieces to add to my own collection, thinking I might get one or two items since a) I was under the impression there were a number of family members who would like this collection, and b) Marilyn lives in LA and we live in Waco. How would we ever get them to Texas?

So you can imagine my surprise when I found out I would be receiving the bulk of the collection via my Uncle Billy, who would be driving a u-haul from LA to Georgia, thereby dropping off various items to family members along the way. Turns out that many of the family members were interested in different items, freeing up the fiestaware for the Wallace family.

Here are the pieces we received last night:

It felt like Christmas, opening the boxes and pulling out each carefully wrapped piece.

Thank you so much, Grandma! These dishes will be well-used and loved!!!

Independence

2011-01-23T13:14:00.000-06:00

Caleb is getting so independent these days, we thought he could handle taking Samuel to the zoo by himself.

Here's a few pictures from their excursion.

You gotta be strong to push this 35 lb. toddler!

Good thing Caleb remembered to pack some snacks!

Teaching Sam about fish.

I just can't figure out who took the pictures?

Recipe for Breakfast Cookies

2011-01-23T12:52:00.000-06:00

I have always been a huge fan of breakfast cookies, especially when they involve chocolate. What better way to start the day then with a cookie?

I found this recipe on one of my favorite cooking blogs, Cooking During Stolen Moments. However, I've made a couple of changes. I cut out 1/3 of the sugar, and added chocolate chips. I also use half oil and half applesauce, substituted whole wheat white flour for the regular flour, and added walnuts for additional protein. These are perfect for Josiah when he is biking to school early in the morning and wants to wait to eat until after arriving at school.

We have found that the way we like them best is frozen! I cut them up, put them in the freezer, and eat them frozen with a cup of coffee for breakfast. This insures that they don't get stale, and for some reason I've always liked my cookies better frozen, unless they're freshly baked. These cookies are much more filling than a bowl of cereal, and tastier too, in my opinion!

Breakfast Cookies

4 C. oats
1 1/2 C. white whole wheat flour (I use King Arthur brand)
1 C. brown sugar
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. salt
1/2 C. vegetable oil
1/2 C. applesauce (unsweetened)
4 eggs
1 C. chopped walnuts
1 C. raisins
1 1/2 C. chocolate chips (or white chocolate chips and craisins, or peanut butter choc. chips, etc)

Cream together the brown sugar and eggs with a mixer. And eggs, mix again. Add flour, cinnamon, salt, veg. oil, applesauce, and mix. Stir in oats, walnuts, raisins, and chocolate chips. Cook in 13 x 9 casserole dish (flatten with wax paper) and bake at 350 degrees for exactly 23 minutes (in my oven). You may want to watch them the first time...they just aren't as good if they're over-baked!

2010-12-29T13:24:00.003-06:00

Christmas Pictures from 2010

We had the privilege of spending Christmas Eve with our lovely friends the Wilhites' and the Carneys' (seen in the group picture below). Our original intent was to attend a Christmas Eve service together after dinner, but after we finally sat down to eat and the kids were settled, we agreed to bag the service in favor of a more relaxing evening together. In lieu of a service, we decided to involve the kid's in a short play about Christmas using costumes and whatever we had on hand.

Our friends brought a special dessert that involved lots of green food coloring, resulting in bright green tongues.

Christmas morning our camera lens broke (thankfully it's still under warranty) so we weren't able to get the best shots. Here are the boys playing with some of their new toys.

Christmas evening was spent with our dear friends the Weltys' and the Brookins', but due to the unfortunate camera accident, this was the only picture we got!!! We had a great evening of fellowship and food. Here are the kids below enthralled with a video.

The Monday following Christmas we spent the day with my brother Jeremiah, his wife Jenni, and their daughter Zella. The bought us tickets to "Santa's Wonderland" as a gift, which was an incredible display of lights near their home in College Station. We went on a hayride to view the lights, eat Kettle Korn, see barn animals, meet Frosty, see "snow," and even watch an Elvis impersonator! Nothing says Christmas like Elvis. Thanks Jer and Jenni!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Caleb Swimming

2010-09-10T13:30:00.001-05:00

Thanks to the pool next door, Caleb can almost swim all by himself! We spent a lot of time at the outdoor pool this summer, and are so sad that it's closed until next May. We'll miss you pool!

Caleb's Birthday Cake

2010-08-04T16:04:00.000-05:00

Caleb had a very special birthday party at Sheridan Beach in Washington, as well as a very special birthday cake, created by both him and his Ahma Terry. Check out a post on the train birthday cake here!

Grandma Wallace

2010-08-02T13:11:00.001-05:00

Grandma Wallace passed away roughly one week after our visit with her. She was 95 years old. I am so thankful that we got a chance to visit her one last time and tell her we loved her. We will miss you Grandma Grace! For Grace's obituary, click here.

This death has caused me to reflect on family--those present and those gone, as well as our family history. My cousin Emily, a talented writer, wrote her own reflections regarding our ancestor's birthplace, Indiana, in a poem.

Seattle Trip -- Great Grand-Parents

2010-07-29T23:07:00.001-05:00

We were privileged to spend time with both of Josiah's grandparents, Grace Wallace, and Stan and Jean Long. Grandma and Grandpa Long live on a farm just outside of Portland, Oregon, where we hiked, "fished", jumped on trampolines, rode four-wheelers, and toted same around in the wagon. We enjoyed spending time with all of the "Great" Grand-parents immensely, and are so thankful that our children are getting the opportunity to know and love them.

Seattle Trip -- Beach House with Family

2010-07-28T22:58:00.000-05:00

We had a great time staying with my brother, his wife and two children, and my parents at a beach house in Allyn, Washington. Our house was right on the beach, and much time was spent throwing rocks, digging for clams, playing with cousins, and generally getting dirty.

Seattle Trip -- Day Out with Thomas

2010-07-27T22:30:00.000-05:00

Every little boys dream! Caleb got to ride on "Thomas," an older train retrofitted with a Thomas Engine.

Seattle Trip -- Good Friends

2010-07-26T22:24:00.002-05:00

Dana and Tamara are two of my best friends...we go way back! Dana recently had her first baby, Grant. It was so wonderful to meet him for the very first time and see what a great mom Dana has become. Our friends enjoyed our boys very much, and Caleb had a special appreciate for Tamara after a game of Chutes and Ladders.

Seattle Trip 2010 -- Carkeek Park with Family

2010-07-25T22:23:00.001-05:00

Who says Seattle doesn't have fabulous weather? July turned out to be a gorgeous month for us, and we've been having lovely weather. It only took one trip to the park to remember what I love about the Northwest so much...the breath-taking views at every turn! When in Seattle, one is surrounded by natural beauty every single day.

Playing Together

2010-05-28T14:23:00.000-05:00

Had to capture this rare moment on camera of the boys playing happily together.

Bedtime Power Struggle

2010-05-27T14:00:00.003-05:00

I thought I knew a lot about parenting before I actually became a parent. I had experience with children! I had read books! I had watched other parents carefully and knew what techniques I wanted to use and which I didn't!

But when I finally became a parent myself, I quickly realized how little I actually knew. Parenting has been an extremely humbling experience.

Flash forward to a typical bed time in May, 2010. Caleb is almost 4 yrs old--a strong-willed, energetic, and independent child. He is kicking his door and throwing toys at it as Josiah holds it shut. He is screaming and shouting, and all of this has been going on for at least half and hour. Josiah and I are frustrated, angry, and exhausted. We have been battling typical scenarios for at least a month.

We are desperate. We've tried being the good guys, and we've tried being the bad guys. We've tried sticker charts, timers, rewards, punishments, and read lots and lots of material on the subject, but nothing seems to be working. This isn't just about bedtime, this is about CONTROL. And I feel that we have to win.

I do a lot of praying. And then I call my mother-in-law. She has a lot of experience working with difficult kids, so I ask for her advice. She suggests something so crazy and counter-intuitive, we think it just might work. She suggests that we sit Caleb down and tell him the following:

We appreciate that he is strong-willed and full of energy. These are things that will be helpful later in life.
We want Caleb to succeed at filling up his sticker chart so that he can get his prize, so we are going to make it easier for him.
We are tired of having fights at bedtime,so starting tonight, Caleb can stay up as late as he wants as long as he stays in his room and doesn't talk to us.
We think Caleb is old enough and responsible enough to put himself to bed from now on.
If Caleb comes out of his room or talks to us, we will immediately turn out the light and lock the door.
The only reason he is to come out or talk to us is if there is an emergency--fire, blood, or if he is throwing up.

We make sure that Caleb has all the things he needs now in his bedroom at night, so he will have no reason to come and get us. He has his potty chair, a special snack, water, and we even leave the door open so he can keep an eye on us and feel safe, which is something we have never done before. When Caleb is ready for bed, he has to turn off his own light, turn on his sound machine, shut his door, and climb in bed.

Here's what's crazy--it's WORKING. We are only on day 8, but so far on average, he plays quietly in his room for an hour before putting himself to bed. Two nights he came out and we had to enforce the rules by locking the door, after which he screamed and shouted for about two minutes before putting himself to bed.

Last night he actually said, "I don't think I want to play tonight. I'm tired. I just want to go straight to bed." And he did.

I'm not saying this will work for every kid, or trying to give advice of any kind. We don't know what next week will bring or if Caleb will tire of the novelty. But this week has been void of evening power struggles, and we are enjoying the peace and quiet.

Okay, I lied.

2010-05-23T09:25:00.001-05:00

After writing that beautiful post about finding contentment in your current situation, we went and changed our minds. We are moving. We just gave our notice for August 15th, which means we'll just have time to pack up our things and find a place when we return from Seattle. ACK!

But Josiah and I are feeling at peace with our decision, and are excited to look for a new place.

So much for mastering that life lesson...I guess I'll work on it later.

My Mother's Day Gift

2010-05-15T15:24:00.001-05:00

Now that we have decided to stay put for awhile, we are trying to take care of some of the little things that annoy us so that we can be more comfortable. One thing that was bothering me was the green tarp covering our bikes on our little patio. So for Mother's Day, Josiah (and the boys), designed, purchased materials for, and built a bike shed! I love it! The roof even has hinges on it so that we can flip it up and clean leaves and debris off the top.

Our Patio space is so much more user-friendly and clean!

Because I am kind of a neat-geek, I also took it upon myself to organize some of our more troublesome closets, such as the utility closet. Space is at a premium, folks! So organization is key. I'm now loving this space also. It's pretty hard to capture it on camera, due to the size of the closet and limited visibility, but this is my best shot.

Fat Feet

2010-05-14T15:23:00.000-05:00

I cannot find sandals that will fit Sam's extremely fat feet. Period. We have tried crocs, flip-flops, stride-rites, and more.

The only shoes that fit him at this time are the stretchable leather Robeez, which will be too hot for this Texas summer weather. So I guess it's Robeez or nothin at all. Can we still get away with bare feet?
Hopefully we won't have an incident like the following:

More reflections on Motherhood...

2010-05-10T20:31:00.004-05:00

To My Son's Girlfriend

by Michael Milburn

I'm tempted to ask
what you see in him.
Although you probably
see the good that I see
I wonder if you realize
how much he is my handiwork,
or which of the qualities
you daydream about in class
are the ones that I take pride in,
his cordiality, for example,
or love of silliness.

It's uncomfortable for me
to think of anyone else
loving him the way I do,
possessing him in a way
that only his mother and I
have ever possessed him,
and I can't deny being jealous,
not so much reluctant
to share or relinquish him
as resolved to remind you
that he's been around
longer than your love,
under construction if you will,
and that each cute trait
or whatever occurs to you
when you hear his name
I feel proprietary about,
like a woodworker
who makes a table
intending to sell it
but prays that no buyer
will recognize its worth.

"To My Son's Girlfriend" by Michael Milburn, from Drive By Heart. © Word Press, 2009. Reprinted with permission. (buy now)

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T19:41:00.000-05:00

This is a worksheet Caleb and his MDO teacher filled out as a Mother's Day Activity. The workshees were posted on the wall and the Mothers were supposed to guess which worksheet described them.

Are You My Mother?

Mommy's hair color is: black
Mommy's eye color is: black
My favorite food mommy makes is: broccoli
What does mommy call daddy? Josiah
Mommy's favorite TV show or movie is: ?
Mommy's favorite store to shop in is: Walmart
I like it best when my mommy: reads me a story

Happy Mother's Day!

And So This is Why We Are Not Asking You to Help Us Move After All...

2010-05-08T09:06:00.001-05:00

We have been planning to move for roughly half a year. There are a lot of benefits about our apartment, but some major issues with it as well.

The biggest issues, which we felt were cause enough to move, were the following:
--overpriced for the size and location
--located in a school district with a less-than-stellar reputation (Caleb will be in Kindergarten our last year of grad school)

I started looking around at some different apartments and houses, to get a feel for what was available within our ideal budget. I found a few places that I thought would be great from the descriptions and the pictures--until actually going inside and finding out all the information. For instance, we toured one house that was only $750 a month (!), but lacked double-paned windows and had no insulation in the floors or ceiling. I found out later that the electricity bills in the summer hovered around $325 a month. I think we paid $125 last August (we have concrete floors and excellent insulation currently). I also toured a very inexpensive 2 bedroom apt. for grad students on the Baylor campus, which lacked a washer dryer (or W/D hook-ups) and had limited space. After calculating the cost of using their public washing machines (at least $75 a month for our family) and the cost of renting a storage unit for our excess items, the apartment wasn't so cheap after all.

Josiah and I began reconsidering our apartment. The issues we were dealing with didn't seem all that bad after all, if it weren't for the price of the rent. Plus, we were stressed about moving this summer, since between Josiah's show, our trip to Seattle, and his obligations in August we really didn't have all that much time to make the transition. So, we went to our landlord and asked if he were willing to lower the price (there are empty units at our apartment complex), which he was. In fact, he lowered our rent a whole $125 a month! The more we talked about our options (and believe me, we talked a LOT!), the better our place seemed, at least for the coming year--now that the rent had been lowered.

One thing that has been extremely beneficial this year is our current location in relation to the school. Josiah's ability to bike the 3 miles back and forth in 15 minutes is a huge advantage. For one, we don't have to deal with the costs and upkeep of a second car, and I have the freedom of using our only car whenever I want. Secondly, Josiah saves a great deal of time each day not having to find parking at Baylor (some colleagues complain that it can take up to 30 min. just to find a spot), or going to the gym to exercise. We calculate that he saves an extra 4-6 hrs each week by riding his bike.

Schools are definitely still an issue, but we have another year of leeway before we have to get serious. In the meantime, Caleb will be attending a pre-K program at the Mom's Day Out I will be working at this year.

We are still extremely tight in this apartment. 1000 sq ft. spread out over three bedrooms and four people is TIGHT! However, we keep reminding ourselves that in Seattle, we would consider this ample space. And now, the price is right.

So we won't be moving this summer after all. This year, as in many years past, will be an exercise in contentment and gratitude for the blessings we already have--and I'll be working on changing my attitude rather than my surroundings.

P.S. In regards to Easter Candy...

2010-04-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

Sam is in favor. Even if it still has the wrapper on it.

Bluebonnets and Boys

2010-04-14T15:21:00.000-05:00

There is a tradition, in Texas, to have your children's pictures taken with the wild blue bonnet flowers, which bloom once a year in the spring. Here's to our first attempt at the annual tradition! (Sam prefers to keep his serious face for pictures)

P.S. Grandma is in town! Rock n' Roll!

Rejected

2010-04-07T20:54:00.001-05:00

Applying for and receiving financial aid from various resources has been a huge part of my education this year. I am learning how to get personal help with these applications from a human being (not the outsource over the phone) and which caseworkers are the most helpful (FYI: Tonya is excellent, Pebbles is NOT), how to make sure the government doesn't accidentally count our loan money as income, and to make multiple copies of my applications before turning them in--just in case health and human services loses my 25 pages of paperwork.

Fortunately or unfortunately, this will most likely be coming to an end next year.

Here's a glimpse of the roller-coaster we've been on:

WE'RE DOWN: Due to some misunderstanding during the application process, the government has now decided to start counting our rental "income" as a liquid asset. So despite the fact that most of the money from our rental goes to our mortgage, it's still considered OUR money, to do with as we please, which means that now we are earning twice as much as we previously were on paper.

WE'RE UP! Secondly, we've been informed that Josiah will be getting a 50% raise in his stipend next year due to his teaching and some extra money in the budget (YIPPEE!)

WE'RE DOWN: Unfortunately, between the rental income and the new stipend money, we no longer qualify for most of the programs we're enrolled in, although we still don't have enough money to live on. We've been REJECTED.

WE'RE UP: We DO however, qualify for CHIP, which is a state health insurance plan for children that is for low-income families who don't qualify for medicaid. Getting our children on a government health plan is my biggest priority. I don't want to have to worry about whether or not to go to the ER in the midst of a crisis!

WE'RE DOWN: The bills from my miscarriage are adding up. Did you know that just three visits to the doctor can easily cost over $1000?

WE'RE UP: By the grace of God, I somehow qualify for Pregnancy Medicaid, which is retroactive and will pay the previous doctors bills.

WE'RE DOWN: It is obvious that I need to find further employment. Every little bit will help, and it is our goal to cut our living expense loans in half next year.

WE'RE UP: The very next day after I have come to this conclusion, I get a job offer for a music teacher position at First Baptist Woodway Mother's Day Out. It's close to minimum wage, but my children will be enrolled for free while I'm teaching. I'd been eyeing this position, hoping that it would open up...

WE'RE STILL UP? So, although I'm sad that we'll lose some of our benefits, I'm relieved that I won't have to deal with all the paperwork these programs require and that we can now live independently. For although these resources are a great help, they can also feel surprisingly restrictive. In short, I feel FREE.

Let's hope that freedom is a good thing.

We made it to 12 months, baby!

2010-03-29T19:41:00.000-05:00

A picture tells a thousand words...

2010-03-28T19:41:00.000-05:00

Just found these pics Josiah took on our camera. What do you think was happening here? And where was the responsible adult?

Update on the Bernards

2010-03-28T08:45:00.001-05:00

Here is a great story about the Bernards, the family we were raising money for with our beard fundraiser.

You can check it out here.

Seriously Thrifty Vacations, Part 2

2010-03-16T09:00:00.002-05:00

Continued from Part 1...

ACTIVITIES:

We chose to do a lot of free things, such as play at parks, explore the Alamo (yay, we made it! And no, there is not a basement), and walk the San Antonio riverwalk. We chose to spend money on a few specific activities, such as the San Antonio Children’s Museum, and the train at the Zoo.

EATING:

We brought our breakfast with us in a cooler, and purchased some picnics at the local grocery store. We ate out for Mexican one night, which always proves inexpensive, since Caleb always happily makes a meal out of chips, beans, and rice. We did a little searching online and found some restaurants that offer free kid’s meals. Did you know Chick-fil-a offers one free kid’s meal with the purchase of an entrée on Tuesday evenings? Guess where we spent our Tuesday evening? Not to mention the bonus of an indoor playground, and a clown making sword balloons (not such a bonus for us, the parents).

Caleb and Sam playing at the San Antonio Children's Museum

The Riverwalk

Can't live in Texas and not see the Alamo...

We stopped at Cabela's on the way home...Eerie for us adults, but Caleb and Sam LOVED the display of dead animals. ("Mommy, mommy, there's a SNOW BEAR!" i.e. a stuffed polar bear--for real!) P.S. Don't go if you're a vegetarian.

We had a great time, and are looking forward to more Wallace-family-grad-school-budget-vacations in the future!

Seriously Thrifty Vacations, Part 1

2010-03-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

This week we took advantage of Baylor’s spring break to explore San Antonio for a few days. As many of you know, vacationing with a family of four can be expensive, but we found that with a little planning we had a great vacation while staying within our budget, without feeling deprived. Here’s a few of the things we did, as well as some ways we cut costs:

SLEEPING:

Instead of staying at a hotel, we rented a 2 bedroom cabin at the San Antonio KOA. We have found that having all four of us sleep in one room can be a not-so-fun experience—especially when the crying baby wakes up the groggy toddler and neither want to go back to sleep at 3am. A two bedroom hotel room could have cost us over $200, but our KOA cabin set us back only $63 a night! This meant we could put both kids to bed in separate rooms, turn on the fan (there was an air conditioner also), and allow them to fall asleep without bothering one another. Another bonus with the KOA cabins is that they have a little front porch with a swing, which is where Josiah and I spent our evenings reading or talking.

The KOA requires you to bring your own sleeping bags and linens, but that was about the only extra items we brought. Oh, except for my coffee pot. The cabins come with electrical outlets, air conditioners, and heaters. The KOA provided a pool, small store, playground, clean bathrooms, bbq’s, picnic tables, and water spigots next to each cabin. For the hard-core budget vacationers, bring your tent, charcoal, hot dogs, and enjoy some good old-fashioned camping!

There are tons of KOA’s in Texas—we’ll be sure to report back and let you know how they fare.

Stay tuned for part 2...

Heaven

2010-03-11T20:48:00.001-06:00

We found a miniature train at the zoo in San Antonio. We all went for a ride! I tried my best to capture the pure joy on Caleb's face with our camera, but the pictures just don't do it justice.

Here's what heaven looks like for little boys...

Sam is clapping to show his approval...

Definitely one of the highlights of our trip!

Sam's 1st Birthday Party

2010-03-09T09:00:00.002-06:00

Celebration

2010-03-06T15:40:00.000-06:00

Today we celebrated Sam's first birthday (Yes, we know, it's a few days early--his real birthday is March 9th).

I had been thinking we might do something small...cake at our (semi) weekly after-church restaurant gathering, or maybe just an evening at home together as a family. But we chucked that idea, invited lots of friends to a nearby park, and brought cupcakes and a giant picnic.

I am so glad we did. Sam's birthday came at the perfect time, and has given me an excellent opportunity to take the focus off of myself and the loss we recently experienced and focus instead on the two gifts right in front of us--Caleb and Samuel.

As many of you know, Josiah and I struggled to conceive both our children (for a much earlier post on our struggles with infertility, read here.) I called it infertility, but I'm not really sure that's a fair definition, since we didn't have to wait nearly as long as some couples, nor did we have to undergo any major medical interventions. But it felt long at the time. (We waited 1.5 yrs for Caleb and 1 yr. for Sam)

And so part of why this recent accidental pregnancy was so shocking to us was due in part to our previous difficulties conceiving, not to mention the fact that I was using birth control. It still blows our minds.

But Sam's birthday reminded me of how truly blessed we are. This child (and Caleb too) was prayed for, pleaded for, and finally given to us. For this reason we named him Samuel or "heard by God," after the story of Hannah in the Bible and her prayer to God to conceive a child.

Sam is here, he is healthy, and he is our delight.

We are so thankful for our little boy and the life we are able to celebrate today and this coming week.

Happy Birthday, Samuel. We love you.

Pictures to come soon!

"A Short Story," or "Why I Haven't Been Blogging"

2010-03-04T19:54:00.005-06:00

A Short Story

The Beginning: Our story begins at 5:30am on a Thursday, in the bathroom. I have been feeling nauseous for almost three weeks now…too long for a mild case of the flu. I decide to take a pregnancy test, which turns out to be

POSITIVE

I am in shock. I currently have an IUD in place—how is this possible? We also had major difficulties conceiving our two sons. I don’t tell my husband just yet. I do not yet believe this test is correct. That morning I have a few moments to myself without the kids, and I spontaneously turn into the CareNet Pregnancy Center a block from my house, where I take another pregnancy test, which turns out

POSITIVE

At this point, I decide that yes, maybe I am pregnant.

What are the chances? That statistics say 1 in a 100 conceive with an IUD in place…but with a history of infertility as well? Maybe 1 in 1000? If this baby lives, this baby will be very special. This baby will be God’s gift.

The Middle: Worry sets in, and it does not go away for a long time.

My husband is in grad school. This is not a good time to have a baby. Our youngest is not yet a year old. How will I be able to handle three children 4 yrs and under when my husband is swamped with work and we are separated from extended family? Not to mention that I still have an IUD in place…could it be affecting the pregnancy? Will it be difficult to take out?

I go to the doctor. They decide they want to do an ultrasound before taking out the IUD, but tell me there will be someone on hand to take it out afterwards.

I get the ultrasound, but there is no one to take out the IUD yet, as planned. I am angry and fearful. I feel that every day the IUD is in place, the baby’s life is in danger. Suddenly, this once helpful medical device now feels invasive…a noxious weed poisoning my body. Despite being asked to wait only a week to have the IUD taken out, I feel that I cannot wait even this long, and make calls for an hour until I find someone who is willing and able to take it out the next day. I am relieved.

The IUD is taken out with little or no consequence. I am still pregnant, and much happier now.

My husband and I begin to talk about what this will mean for our lives. We begin to plan and dream. We begin looking at minivan reviews online. We know that this is not a good time for a baby, but who are we to argue with the Creator? We made our desires known, and God clearly overrode our decision.

The End: One week after the IUD has been taken out, and only two weeks after my positive pregnancy test, I begin to bleed. It starts off slowly, and after an afternoon of bleeding, I think, “Well, that’s it. I’ve had a miscarriage.” But this is only the beginning. I bleed for days.

On Friday evening, I feel that I am doing okay. A friend has graciously offered to babysit so that my husband and I can go on a date. But at the restaurant a small child behind us will not stop yelling and jumping up and down on the seat behind me, and suddenly I begin to cry and cannot stop. And so my husband gets our food to go and we eat it in the car, and I cry the entire time.

On Saturday, I begin to cramp. I cramp on and off until Sunday morning, when finally what remains of the baby has passed. Afterwards, I am relieved, both physically and emotionally. It’s done. I’m empty.

We are doing better. We are busy. We don’t have a lot of time to think about what happened, as we are planning Sam’s first birthday party this Saturday—one year old all ready! We cannot believe how fast our little baby is growing up. We are focusing not on the emptiness inside, but the fullness of life surrounding us. And it is good.

Strange Weather in These Here Parts

2010-02-24T16:06:00.000-06:00

This is what we did on Sunday, February 21. It was 75 degrees outside.

This is what we did on Tuesday, February 23. It was 32 degrees outside.

Mental Health Check-up: Responding to Your Partner's Bids

2010-02-19T13:59:00.000-06:00

Another excellent post by the famous marriage and family counselor Terry McNichols on the Tranquil Parent!

Over the next few posts, I will be discussing some of the findings of Dr. John Gottman. Gottman is a Professor Emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, and with his wife Dr. Julie Schwartz, now heads a nonprofit research institute, the Gottman Institute. Thirty years ago, Dr. Gottman began studying couples through the University of Washington to try to understand what works and what doesn't work in relationships. He opened a laboratory where couples came and spent time together, and there he videotaped, observed, recorded and analyzed their interactions, emotions and microexpressions. In Gottman's work, he was able to predict with 90% accuracy which newlywed couples would remain married and which ones would divorce within four to six years. He was also able to predict longer marital survival rates with high accuracy...(click here for more)

The Results Are In!

2010-02-14T19:25:00.003-06:00

The results are in. Beard/Hair style #2 won by a landslide!

We were able to raise $83 for the Bernards thanks to your generosity. Our fundraiser was one of many that our pastor challenged the congregation to hold as part of a "taking part in your faith" sermon series. Our money will be added to the many other participant's money in order to bless the Bernard family with a much larger monetary gift. Thank you for helping us succeed! In the meantime, I have to live with the following for a week:

Still a Theatre Geek

2010-02-14T18:00:00.002-06:00

Last night Josiah and I had were treated to a production of The Seagull, by Anton Chekhov, produced by Baylor's Theatre Department.

Neither Josiah or I had either read the play or seen it in all of our theatre education, despite hearing and reading numerous references to the play. It is now one of my favorites.

If you're interested in reading more, an article and picture about the play can be found here.

The play was directed by another graduate student for her thesis project, and she made some very bold choices in order to bring out the thematic elements. I would have liked a little more subtlety, however, both Josiah and I agreed that bold choices are better than no choices, and we couldn't stop talking about the production, as it left quite an impression.

The main character of the play, Constantine, is a writer, and everything from the stage to the costumes were supposed to "reflect the writer's head". The set was made up of a kind of decoupage substance created out of paper, and many of the costumes had writing or ink on them. Constantine started the play in all white with one ink-stained hand, and as the play progressed, the ink gradually consumed him by traveling up his arm, covering half his shirt, and eventually covering his entire body, leaving him dressed in all black by the end.

During the climax of the play, Constantine has a mental breakdown after meeting with his disgraced ex-lover, and ends up throwing and tearing hundreds of pieces of paper in a fit of anger and despair while the thematic music reaches a crescendo. As the music climaxes and Constantine becomes more and more frantic, paper begins pouring down from the ceiling as he weeps on the flour, and the result was a stage and an actor literally covered in paper.

Josiah and I have been extremely impressed by the quality of the acting by the students at Baylor. We both agreed that many of them are just as good as the professional actors we've seen on the stages of Seattle.

There are not a lot of opportunities to watch great theatre here in Waco, but so far Baylor has proven to be a excellent source for quality productions.

Running Technique #1

2010-02-09T17:51:00.003-06:00

Pumping your arms really does make you go faster.

Back to the Bernards...

2010-02-05T16:42:00.002-06:00

Okay folks, I want y'all to know that I have personally put $10 down on style #1, because I think it's the only one I can possibly live with for an entire week.
So far, that makes #1 the highest in votes. If you want to see styles 2, 3, or 4, you're going to have to "show me the money!"

Thanks to those of you who have already cast your votes!

Epiphany

2010-02-02T21:37:00.061-06:00

The other day we were sitting down to lunch after church in the party room at Mi Tequila, a local Mexican hole-in-the-wall restaurant, at a table accompanied by roughly five couples. At an adjacent table "sat" all six of our children (not including the three babies), who were busy inhaling tortilla chips, watching the bar TV, drawing, and playing under the table...and in the midst of all the conversation and the hubbub and the laughter, I came to the realization...We have FRIENDS.

What a blessing it has been to find friends in this new place we are now calling home! It has made the transition so much easier and more pleasant than we ever could have anticipated. By God's grace we were introduced to a group of people (through a Seattle connection) at our new church in Waco who are inclusive, generous with their time and resources, and who have whole-heartedly embraced us, despite having busy schedules and plenty of friends already.

There is nothing more frightening or awkward than that first moment you step inside a brand new church (or school, or job, etc). You are so alone, so vulnerable, and you are wondering if all of THIS (school, cross-country move, adjustment to four person family) is going to WORK, or if it's going to be a colossal failure, which will begin with your inability to make new friends and continue in a downward spiral, inevitably leading to your eating government cheese (which we already do) and living in a van down by the river. Thankfully, those first moments of apprehension were fleeting, because after church we were immediately invited out to lunch where we began making friends.

I have a confession to make. I have never been great about reaching out to the new guy. I really haven't. Partly because I've spent much of my life in the same town, partly because I had a wide network of school friends and family relations in the area, and partly because I was lazy. But mostly because I really didn't know what it felt like to be the new guy.

I have learned my lesson. Our new friends are teaching us how to be much better friends. And I look forward to including the "new guys" the next time I meet them.

Government Aid Applications: Additional Advice

2010-01-30T21:22:00.003-06:00

For those of you who are filling out government aid applications, my friend Katy Welty gave me some additional application tips after reading my blog that I thought were very helpful. Italics are mine.

1) Never go in for an interview (which is "required," on the application): always say you need a phone interview due to childcare needs. This is completely legitimate and has only been questioned briefly once in my 3.5 years applying for aid. If you have a cell phone, give that number so you are not tied down at home. There is nothing worse than sitting in a caseworker's office for hours with small children!

2) If you have a copier/scanner at home, make a copy of your application because the interview questions are often just confirmation of what you filled out on the form. Also, it is not uncommon for parts of your application to be lost. This will protect you from having to find and locate documents a second time.

3) When reapplying try to drop off your applications at the local office, especially if filing late. You have to wait a couple minutes for an available window to pass to but this speeds up the process. Be sure and write ATTN: ____________ at the top of your application if you have a favorite caseworker.

4) Make sure that they have not mistakenly counted school loan money as income! Despite my best intentions and careful notes on the application, this happened to me recently...

5) There will be setbacks--count on it! Try to find the humor in the situation. Write about it...start a blog, vent to your spouse. But whatever you do, don't go in to the local office and yell at the caseworkers!

Here's Where it all Started...

2010-01-28T21:16:00.003-06:00

Caleb and I were having fun sorting through some old pictures from Josiah's and my theatrical endeavors, and thought they would be fun to share. Our scanner kind of stinks, but you still get the idea. Here's a few for your amusement...

Josiah as Atahualpa in The Royal Hunt of the Sun (that's him in the middle--glowing). When I saw Josiah in this show, I just KNEW I was in love with him.

Bethany as Cecily in The Importance of Being Earnest

Josiah as John Proctor in The Crucible

Josiah and Bethany touring together with The University Players (yes, this is where we hooked up)

Bethany performing with Taproot Theatre's touring Road Company in Seattle. Bethany toured full time with the Road Company for one school year while Josiah worked as the Director of Outreach. Josiah continued to work for Taproot for five years. After touring, Bethany began writing plays for the Road Company and still does so today.

Bethany in Farndale Avenue's...A Christmas Carol (that's me in the snow man suit) This was my first and only mainstage production at Taproot. It was a BLAST.

A Beard Fundraiser for the Bernards!

2010-01-26T19:49:00.010-06:00

As many of you know, Josiah has a unique skill--growing beards! Now it's YOUR chance to finally have a say in the style and cut of one of his notorious beards! We are raising money for a young couple in Waco who have taken on five younger siblings displaced by the quake in Haiti.

For only $1, you can vote for Josiah to shave his beard (and hair) in one of the following styles:

The style that earns the most money by February 15th will be style Josiah acquires for a week. Pictures will be posted on this blog as well as on Facebook.

You can donate by giving cash to Josiah or Bethany and letting them know your beard preference in writing or by using the Paypal link below. Please include an e-mail to Bethany Wallace at bwallace@spu.edu listing the amount you donated along with the number of the style you are voting for. (Ex: $3 for style #1)

ALL proceeds will go directly to the Bernard family.

Here's a quote from the Waco Tribune about the family we will be supporting:

A 19-year-old Waco woman and her husband are tending to her five younger siblings while her missionary parents continue relief work in the ruined capital city. Britt Bernard and her husband, Chris, 23, married only last year but now have a house full of children.

“They’re tremendous kids, more a blessing to me than anything else,” said Chris Bernard, a Baylor student and Waco Family YMCA aquatics director. “Their mom will be coming to visit in a week or two.”

Britt’s parents, Tara and Troy Livesay, are in the thick of the disaster, working for the group World Wide Village.

“What they’re doing is disaster maintenance,” Chris Bernard said. “They’re setting up clinics and trying to pick the worst cases. They’re trying to help people walking around with open wounds and missing limbs. From a personal standpoint, I can’t even imagine the situation there. They’re doing the work God called them to do.”

Click here for a link to the children's parent's blog.

VOTE NOW!

And maybe, just maybe, Bethany will GROW a beard...but you'd have to donate a lot of money for that to happen.

This fundraiser brought to you by the University Baptist Church challenge.

Sam Learning to Walk

2010-01-12T13:08:00.002-06:00

Government Aid Applications--Not for the Faint of Heart

2010-01-07T21:24:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I did NOT create this blog in order to vent about my negative experiences with government aid. Don't get me wrong--I LOVE government aid! (Though I would love more if we weren't dependent on it) I love that my children's health needs are taken care of and that my refrigerator is full of food. These are WONDERFUL things.

However, here's the lowdown: the process of obtaining government aid benefits and keeping them requires both the financial aptitude needed when filing one's taxes along with the patience and diligence of potty-training a two year old.

Here is one of the many examples I would like to share with you about the complexity of the process and difficulties one may face if applying for such benefits:

Medicaid and SNAP (food stamps) both require that changes in income be reported within 10 days. Our income actually went down, and so I submitted the proper forms and documentation of this change in income in hopes that our food stamps benefits would go up. Technically, these government aid programs have 30 days to respond to your requests--the question is, who holds them accountable?

29 days after submitting my change in income, I called the Human Health Services Office (HHS), navigating the automated phone tree by punching in social security numbers and birth dates until I finally reached a real live person, who I then asked about my SNAP benefits. They reminded me that they had HHS had 30 days to complete the request, and that I should call back the next day. The following day, I called again, once again navigating the phone tree (I had to start over twice due to the distraction of yelling children in the background) at which point they were still unable to provide me with information regarding my case, and reminded me that they actually had until 5pm that day to complete the request.

"Well what happens if the request is not completed within 30 days?" I asked.
"The request is then sent to an expediting office where they expedite it as quickly as possible," said the teller, who was beginning to sound an awful lot like the automated phone tree.

Finally, 38 days after I had submitted my change in income, I called again, only to find that the caseworker who had been working on the request had apparently abandoned it, and due to the application's incomplete status, would have to be started over. All forms would have to be resubmitted, and there could be another 30 day delay.

Said the phone tree lady: "You can file a complaint."
"Okay," said I.
"Your complaint number is 6***8" she said. "I suspect the complaint department will be contacting you within the next 30 days."

If not, I'm calling Obama.

An Ode to Innocence

2010-01-06T09:00:00.004-06:00

I had forgotten what nine months looks like. It's adorable. I mean really stinkin' adorable.

Sam is crawling, pulling up on things, feeding himself, waving, and making his opinions known.

If Caleb closes his bedroom door in order to "keep him out of his stuff," Samuel hovers around the door and wiggles his chubby fingers underneath in protest.

Toys are interesting, but only briefly. He would much rather play with tupperware, a hairbrush, the toilet.

Tickling Sam or peekaboo results in some serious giggling, which is contagious in our household.

And if Sam is crying and I hold out my arms to him, he crawls over to me and up into my lap where I am usually able to comfort him.

Oh Sam, just a few more days and you'll be ten months already. Please slow down.

All Hippies Made Yogurt... (frugal living tip #1)

2010-01-03T09:00:00.003-06:00

...my mother-in-law, a former hippie (well maybe she still is) told me on the phone after I shared that we'd been making our own yogurt.

My brother Josh shared a very tasty and easy recipe with me during my last visit, and now I'm a homemade yogurt convert.

Here's the basic steps:

Heat 1/2 gallon of fresh milk (1%, 2%, or whole milk) to 140 degrees, stirring constantly (you don't want to let this burn!).
Around 140 degrees, stir in 1/3 cup powdered milk.
Continue heating and stirring the milk constantly until it reaches 170 degrees.
Remove the heated milk from the stove and set it in a sink filled halfway with cold water.
Let the milk cool to 110 degrees. Then stir in 1/2 cup plain yogurt (you can use previously made yogurt or store bought).
Place the milk concoction in a cold oven along with a large pan filled with hot tap water. Keep the oven door closed.
Replace the hot water in the pan at least 3 times over the next 12-24 hours while your yogurt is working. You want to keep the oven slightly warm--about 110 degrees, for the yogurt cultures to grow and spread through the milk. The yogurt is done roughly anytime after 12 hours...the longer you leave it in the more sour it will get (like sour cream!)
Keep your yogurt in the fridge. This recipe lasts for a few weeks, and makes 1/2 gallon. Add jam, syrup, honey, or powdered sugar to sweeten. So good!

Troubleshooting: the biggest opportunity for error lies in letting the milk get too hot or too cold. Plan on keeping a careful eye on the milk, which can be difficult with little ones around. I usually wait until Josiah can watch the kids or they are in bed so I don't make a mistake.

In the picture, I'm using a cheese grater to keep the thermometer in place. Be sure your thermometer doesn't touch the bottom of the pan, thereby causing an incorrect temperature reading.

Mental Health Check-Up #1: Fighting Fairly

2009-12-31T07:04:00.002-06:00

Sorry about the delay in posts for my two readers out there. I've been busy these last two weeks writing a play about pirates who learn a lesson on bullying and friendship making skills, and I'm so happy to say that a second draft is off to Taproot for revisions...nothing left to do until I get some feedback!

I haven't written a mental-health check-up post yet as promised. I am no mental health professional, but I just happen to be related to one, so I suspect I'll be mooching off of many of her posts over at the Tranquil Parent in order to let her talk about some of the many issues we spouses and parents deal with.

Who is this Wonder Woman of Sorts? A marriage and family therapist named Terry McNichols, who also just happens to be my mother.

All through my adolescence, my mom and I fought, as all good teenagers and their mothers/fathers should. (newsflash: even teenagers of therapists!) But all through that time, my mom insisted that I learn how to fight fairly, which included the "When you _________, I feel ___________" technique.

Growing up, I worked hard to deny the value of any "organized" fighting. You just need to express your feelings, right? And say whatever pops out of your mouth? Trust your intution!

Here's the catch: Yes, my feelings and emotions are valid and important, but there are specific ways I can express these feelings which won't irreparably damage my relationships with those I love and leave me full of regret. This has helped immensely in navigating relationships with others, especially family members.

But anyway, enough about me. I want you to have enough energy and patience left to read the article, which can be found here.

Happy fighting!

Wallace Family Christmas

2009-12-25T17:25:00.001-06:00

This Christmas, we created some new traditions and upheld some old ones as well. Here's what the Wallace's did this Christmas:

We read the Christmas story, for both young and old.

We put birthday candles in our cinnamon rolls and sang happy birthday to Jesus. (that's sparkling cider, by the way--we waited on the wine!)

We opened presents.

We went on a family hike. (Caleb is a great hiker!)

We got sick. (Sam had to wear a mitten on one hand all day due to a malicious rash)

We ate too much.(a time honored tradition)

And then we blogged about it!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Honeymoon Period

2009-12-20T20:05:00.000-06:00

We're in the midst of that sweet spot also known as Christmas break, and we're having a blast.

As many of you already know, my part-time job is a playwriting gig for Taproot Theatre in Seattle. I write an educational script for their touring company once a year, usually on bullying-prevention and friendship skills. It's always very intense during the writing process, but then extremely low-maintenance the rest of the year. I really enjoy it, and find it extremely fulfilling. Anyway, I've had a difficult time finding blocks of time to concentrate on writing, since I've been so busy with the boys this fall. As a result, Josiah has agreed to take on the task of being in charge of the boys each morning during his break while I ride my bike to the school and use his office to write.

Josiah is a fabulous father. Sometimes I wonder if we should trade places??? He's been happily hauling the boys to the park, library story time, as well as various dental and medical appointments. Meanwhile I'm enjoying flexing my writing muscles, biking in the sweet December sunshine, and spending afternoons and evenings with the family.

I suspect we'll be a bit tired of stepping on one another's toes in our townhouse come January, but for now we're still enjoying the honeymoon period...

Merry Christmas!

How to Survive Finals, 1st Semester

2009-12-15T22:56:00.000-06:00

Josiah had a lot of work to do during finals. No tests to study for, no major projects, but pages and pages and more pages of papers to write--eighty, to be exact--which requires, well, concentration. A quiet environment. And the ability to work 16+ hours a day without interruption.

And so for my husband's final's week, I gave him a gift. I filled up the freezer full of prepared foods, cleaned the house, left clean laundry, packed up the boys, and left town. Some people may not understand this--how could a loving wife leave her husband in the midst of this great trial?!

If you spend any time around children, you understand.

We took a plane to Grandma and Grandpa's, where fresh energy, loving arms, and generosity awaited the boys and I.

Josiah spent the week holed up inside our house, glued to the computer screen, alone. And you know what? He finished--with flying colors. And meanwhile the arguments about taking out the trash or changing diapers or why he couldn't spend just an eensy bit of time with us despite the fact that he was running his own personal marathon never materialized. And now we've all got a break--for the first time in a long time--where we get to relax as a family, until school begins again.

I Don't Have a Fancy Camera...

2009-12-14T13:58:00.000-06:00

I don't have a fancy camera or a fancy photo editing program. However, I do have online access to Picnik, a free online photo editing site which I am absolutely addicted to.
It is a fantastic place to make and create headers for blogs. It only took me a couple of minutes to create my current header. Here's a couple other things I've created with the program:

Or how about out this classy Christmas photo?

Happy editing!!!

Meet the Family, Via Blog

2009-12-10T13:21:00.000-06:00

I hate to say it, but starting my own blog was a completely unoriginal idea. In truth, my entire family blogs, except for my father, who is a family practice doctor and simply doesn't have the time. But who knows, maybe he'll start one when he retires? I'm sure he could field a lot of medical questions that way!

In the meantime, I'd like to introduce you to the rest of my family.

My brother, Jeremiah, is the one who got us all blogging. Jeremiah was blogging way before the word "blog" was a common household name, and since then he and his wife Jenni have cultivated quite a following with his extremely successful blog Zrecommends. Zrecommends is a blog providing "consumer research, consumer advocacy, and unbiased product review for parents," and has been hailed as the "Upton Sinclair of parent blogs" by Hemisphere Magazine. Zrecommends has become so popular that they started a Zrecs network, which now includes three other blogs: Prizey, The Tranquil Parent, Punnybop, and a search engine for finding safe children's products titled The Zrecs guide to Safer Children's Products. If you're a parent and you have not yet seen this site, check it out. I mean NOW. Seriously!

Okay, next up is my brother Joshua, who has created a blog on gardening, called Redfern Yardfarm. They haven't been posting much lately, but that is most likely due to the fact that it is not currently gardening season in Seattle, Washington. I'm hoping they update it more this spring.

Last but not least is my mother Terry, who has started a blog with my aunt Leona, titled Grace and Gravity. This one is about aging gracefully and living life to the fullest. Terry also writes for some other blogs, including The Tranquil Parent (listed above).

Have you started your own blog? If not, try it out! You can start a free blog by going to www.blogger.com.

Government Aid Review #2: WIC

2009-12-06T21:04:00.000-06:00

WIC is another nutritional program specifically benefiting women, infants, and children (although fathers are also encouraged to enroll any children under the age of 5). We met the income guidelines in Seattle when I became pregnant with Sam and we officially became a family of "four". Since then, we've been getting monthly coupons (now on a debit card) for milk, eggs, juice, cheese, tuna, cereal, and beans.

WIC recently decided that it was time for a benefit upgrade. Their food choices/benefits had not been updated in some thirty years since the program had been started, and I have always felt they were a bit antiquated. I was never able to use all the milk we were given, and one can only eat so much tuna.

As of October 2009, whole grains (wheat tortillas, bread, and brown rice), baby food, and fresh produce were added to the benefits. This month I received 95 jars of baby food, and will continue to do so every month hereafter until Sam turns one year of age! The check-out lady at Walmart was completely stunned when I decided to purchase all 95 jars at once.

Here is a visual of all the foods we have been receiving each month for Sam and I while breastfeeding. This does not include the food that Caleb receives, which is about a quarter of what is below:

The WIC program rewards breast-feeding moms by giving them enhanced food packages and allowing them to stay in the program longer.

I also was able to get Sam immunized for free at a walk-in clinic due to our involvement with WIC as another added bonus. (more on walk-in clinics in a later article)

I used to be hesitant to tell people we're receiving help from the government, but now I am eager to let friends and neighbors know about this great program they can tap into if they are struggling financially and have children or are pregnant. (I know what you're thinking--"Hesitant? For goodness sake she's blogging about receiving government aid!" Needless to say, I've gotten a little more gutsy) It's hard to make the leap from "financially stable" to "government supported" both mentally and emotionally, but there is no shame in doing the very best for one's children and utilizing government resources (when eligible) in order to stay out of debt.

Here are some interesting facts about WIC from their website.

WIC At A Glance

The WIC target population are low-income, nutritionally at risk:

* Pregnant women (through pregnancy and up to 6 weeks after birth or after
pregnancy ends).
* Breastfeeding women (up to infant’s 1st birthday)
* Nonbreastfeeding postpartum women (up to 6 months after the birth of an infant
or after pregnancy ends)
* Infants (up to 1st birthday). WIC serves 45 percent of all infants born in the United States.
* Children up to their 5th birthday.

The following benefits are provided to WIC participants:

* Supplemental nutritious foods
* Nutrition education and counseling at WIC clinics
* Screening and referrals to other health, welfare and social services

WIC is not an entitlement program as Congress does not set aside funds to allow every eligible individual to participate in the program. WIC is a Federal grant program for which Congress authorizes a specific amount of funds each year for the program.

Did you see the fact above stating that 45% of all infants in the U.S. receive WIC benefits?! That's amazing.

The only downside to WIC for me has been the nutrition education and health screenings. It has meant numerous trips to the WIC office, waiting for great lengths of time in crammed waiting rooms for meetings, and having to be weighed TWICE a month while pregnant. (Okay, okay, I know this doesn't seem like such a big deal, but when you have officially gained *too much* weight according to the doctor during pregnancy, there is nothing worse than stepping on that scale. The doctor insists that you be weighed each appointment, whereafter you are given a scolding if you have gained too much weight, and then you have the added embarrasment of going through the whole process yet again at the WIC clinic!) In my case, the nutrition counseling simply confirmed prior knowledge about healthy eating for both myself and my children, and felt inconvenient at nine months pregnant with a cranky toddler in tow. A small price to pay, however, for the benefits received.

Tylenol Doesn't Always Make Things Better...

2009-12-01T20:46:00.000-06:00

Did anyone else catch the news that Acetaminophen can actually lower babies immune system responses to vaccinations?! Apparently I am behind on the news, since many of the articles I googled on this subject were dated in mid-October. (Sheez. I KNEW there was a reason I should be getting a newspaper subscription! That and the garage-sale listings.)

I received the following letter from Group Health regarding a medical study I enrolled Samuel in earlier this year. That sounds bad, doesn't it? I mean, what kind of parent enrolls their child in medical studies? Especially for a $25 gift card. What a jerk!

Anyway, after Samuel's 4 month vaccinations, I was to give him what could have been either acetaminophen or a placebo and then record his behavior for 24 hours. Apparently Sam got the placebo, which sounds like it is a good thing in the long run.

The study has now been suspended due to the findings of another study which--well, you should really just read the article yourself, since I will most likely shred any relative information by attempting to summarize. You can read about it here.

So! If you are one of the lucky few who manage to get your child immunized for H1N1 or the seasonal flu virus, put on your mean-mommy face and refuse your child the Tylenol. As we find out now, it won't make them better...

A celebration of 8 months...and brotherhood!

2009-12-01T14:30:00.000-06:00

NY Times: Food Stamp Use Soars, and Stigma Fades

2009-11-29T19:35:00.000-06:00

Find the article here: Food Stamp Use Soars, and Stigma Fades

In addition to this article, I want to correct a previous statement. I stated that the SNAP application only counts liquid assets...this is true for the state of Texas, however, each state has their own perimeters and guidelines. Basically, if you are living below the poverty line (about $22,000 a year for a family of four), you will most likely qualify in any state. If you're living above the poverty line but are struggling to put food on the table , you should definitely check in with your local Health and Human Services office to see if you meet the requirements or try using the benefits calculator.

Article: Food stamps estimate raises debate over 'poverty'

2009-11-28T19:51:00.001-06:00

CHICAGO — The estimate was startling, and made headlines around the country: Almost half of all U.S. kids will be on food stamps at some time during childhood...(see the rest of the article HERE)

Government Aid Review #1: Food Stamps

2009-11-27T22:07:00.001-06:00

Okay, here's something they don't tell you in your welcome packet to Grad School: Be sure and apply for food stamps! You might just qualify after you pay the school's $2,500 multi-purpose fee, the $250 annual parking pass, and the $300 on books this quarter!

I was surprised, upon arrival at Grad School, to find out that there are a great number of grad students on food stamps (now called SNAP). This seems especially common if the student has children or a stay-at-home spouse, like myself. This subject seems slightly taboo, as people often have strong opinions about whether or not one should take advantage of government welfare, and the conversation can turn political and heated rather quickly. But that's another post; one that I'll save for a later date. All I can say is that each person or family has a unique situation, and if they are struggling to make ends meet financially, they should simply apply and let the government decide.

I will say, however, that filling out the application for SNAP was more arduous than filling out my annual taxes. The documentation required is voluminous and the process can be somewhat drawn-out. If you're debating whether or not to make the commitment to filling out the application, you can estimate your qualification status first by using the benefits calculator.

The process can feel lengthy, although legally, the government is required to give you an answer within 30 days of your application submission. We actually waited three months into school before even applying, due to the fact that the Texas application requires listing any household income within the previous three months, and we didn't want to risk Josiah's previous income counting against us. Then some of our documentation was not dated within the last three months, so we received a cryptic letter telling us some of our information was insufficient. I then spent a good deal of time navigating phone trees in order to talk with a real person and find out what exactly I had sent in that was incorrect. Then I sent in the new correct paperwork, and waited some more. Finally I was given a phone interview (during which I was required to go over every bit of paperwork verbally, which took about an hour and half!), and then it was another week or two before the benefits were finalized.

Something that surprised me was learning that only liquid assets are taken into account when calculating your income bracket. We have a very very small roth IRA that should've put us over the limit financially, but was not counted due to the fact that it was not available cash. ~~The same goes for real estate~~. This one is tricky...the house that you live in will not count against you, but we have rental "income" from our house in Seattle that counts, despite the fact that 95% of it goes towards our mortgage.

The penalty for lying on a food stamps application or abusing benefits is stiff--multiple infractions can result in being barred from the SNAP program, a $250,000 fine, or even jail up to 20 years! (So don't even think about trying to work the system.)

The final step in the process involved going to the health and human services office in our town and getting a SNAP card, which looks and works discretely like a debit card. Although we were elated and slightly hysterical when we found out we would be receiving benefits, the actual acquisition of the card was extremely depressing. I won't go into details about my personal experience in the waiting room at the HHS office with my two kids, but I will tell you that it is filled with desperate people. I will also tell you that the workers there have no value whatsoever for your time, which seems to be a reoccuring theme in most government aid programs. Money = time. You have no money, therefore your time means nothing! (insert maniacal laughter here) If you can, attempt to leave your children with a friend during this visit as it will not be fun.

Now that we are on food stamps, we feel much more at peace about our financial situation. Going to the grocery store over the last few months has been stressful up until now--now I love it! Our budget is extremely tight in so many areas, but it is a relief to feel that I can provide my children with healthy food, regardless of how much money we have in the bank.

According to our paperwork, we will have to reapply in 6 months time (I'm optimistically assuming a shorter application will be required). During this time we are also required to notify HHS if our income goes above or below a certain level, which could cause our benefits to decrease or increase accordingly.

So for now, we have healthy food on the table and in our cupboards--just in time for Christmas.

Another blog???

2009-11-26T09:00:00.000-06:00

So I was getting tired of our old blog, Team Wallace, and decided to give it a complete makeover (who doesn't love a makeover story?) because I have loads of free time and energy and needed to expend it on something.
This inevitably lead to a new title, which lead to a new host name, which in turn lead to a completely new blog with a completely new focus. So there you have it.

Welcome to My Daily Deus Ex Machina. In this blog, my goal is to write twice a week on the following topics:

Government aid reviews and information
Frugal living tips
Mental-health checks
The occasional recipe
Cute pictures of my kids

And mostly, I want to encourage you readers out there to do the following:

Okay, the sick kids are up and running! Gotta go.